U+ME = 1 TREE NOT 2

I'm so in love with u

every lil sec i think of u

and dat every sec,i live several lives

promising all ur fights as mine

You are ma river

you r ma thirst

will always be the best

and neva the worst

In ma dreams i see u

high azure skies i find u

in rains can feel ur touch

with melody of your heart beat must

Am so lost in u

looking into your eyes

into your mind

so deep,so high

You are the beginning 

never the end,and with u baby

I'm amongst the luckiest one's 

with love in their hands

Wanna spend rest of ma life

with u by ma side

can fill ur fantasies

can turn u wild

I don't know there's somthing in your smile

which says,"i'm none without u"

I love u not for what u are,

but for what i'm with u

and dear

I'M NONE WITHOUT U

PS: This poem was written by a girl for me about 18 months back. I just happen to find it in my starred mail box. So I decided to publish it online for the sake of remembering those old good days.

पौने दोसो नकाब है

थोड़ी पी लेता हूँ तो लगता है भेद खुल गए सब इस दुनिया के, सब संगमरमर सा साफ़ है

सोकर उठता हूँ अगली सुबह, चार लोगो से मिलता हूँ, हर एक चेहरे पर पौने दोसो नकाब है

या तो कही गड़बड़ है कुछ हम में, या फिर पूरी कायनात गलत है, पता चलता नहीं माजरा 

बस इतना पता चलता है की असली दोस्त तो है अपने पाच वही, बाकी सबके वायदे बेबुनियाद है

हम तो इस उम्मीद पर टिके थे की वो खुद ही गबन कबूल करेंगे पान खिला कर, गले लगाकर

अब दिल का गुबार निकाले भी तो कैसे, नशे में तो सिर्फ हम है, बाकी अभी भी हाज़िर जवाब है

माना दिल दे कर जुर्म इक हमने भी किया था छोटा सा कभी, पर इतनी सज़ा नहीं बनती थी

ताली भी एक हाथ नहीं बजती, उन्होंने तो हमे ऐसे तड़पाया जैसे उनकी रूह एकदम बेदाग़ है

अभी तक भी तो चल ही रहा था रफ़्तार से सब कुछ, आगे भी चलेगा, मुझे कोई शिकवा नहीं

मैं तो आज भी ना कलम उठाता, मेरी क्या गलती, कुछ दर्द का नशा है बाकी हलकी शराब है

 PS: This poem has been taken from someone's blog as I find it interesting

IT'S KILLING ME FROM INSIDE

Finally I agree with you that I have stop writing lately. And it was for the first time that I gave myself a break in blogging, intentionally. There was a purpose behind it.

First, I wanted to know whether I could live without writing or not. Answer is obviously NO which is the only reason why I have started it again, hopefully.

Second, I didn’t want to start writing again, I mean at this point of time when I am only 5 days away from my end sem examinations. I mean I had thought that I would start writing again from mid May when I would be interning somewhere. Obviously then I would have lot of spare time to kill. But today I couldn’t resist more. I mean lot of things can happen in few days and it did. There are so many things which I wanna fill your heads with right now. If I would start speaking god knows when I would stop. A lot of good as well as bad things happen with me in the beginning of this year and my mind still have those memories afresh. I so wanted to tell you all. Plus I also wrote many offline blogs, things which I write unofficially and never publish out of pride, shame or whatever. I so wanted to publish all those or atleast show them to my very close friends. I hope you could even see the frustration in this very post. I have written so many things on so many topics but I didn’t publish for a purpose.

There are so many persons to whom I wanna say sorry, so many persons to whom I wanna say thanks and so many for vengeance. In this time I have realized who my true friends are, whom should I rely upon in what situation and with whom and when can I share my things that are hard to digest by my little belly. Furthermore I regret for trusting few people more than they could be and I obviously got hurt. I also fell in love and this time I swear it is true (what are you looking at? Don’t give me how-could-you look. It’s only you dumbo. You will never know it and I will never say it and the worst part is that you could never possibly imagine it!). I almost broke down 10 times for different people and for different reasons. I also met few special persons in my life. I did some good things in good company and also some bad things in bad company of good people. I did bad things, I regretted it and did it again.




To sum up this time was vey awesome and prudent for me. I learnt so many things and I have become more mature but emotionally weak in this period. I have absorbed more things than I ever had since my childhood in my heart and I am still absorbing it. Things which are all lying there infront of you to see but never enough to gather that attention of yours. Things which you will only understand when I write. Or may not even then? Things which come from my stomach to my mouth but never come out from my mouth. Things which I want you to understand before I tell you myself. Things which I will never say and you will never bother to ask!

PS: I am writing this with respect to few initial reactions of the readers of this post. Please don't think this post as a love one. This post is not revolving around love or other crap. This is revolving around much bigger and important  concerns in my life. And please !! I am not commited at all. Can't anyone be in love without staying out from commitment. Furthermore love isn't always what you think. It can have different dimensions. Isn't?


PS: This post is not written for a single person or aimed to hit that someone special in my life. This post is written for all and aims equally at all those people who know me. I hope you would put yourself in that shoe for a moment and feel my words.

A MESSAGE TO ALL MY FRIENDS

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our heart. And we are never ever the same.

Who really want me as their friend? I know I am weird and everything seems so stupid to me. I don’t care. I never did. And I never will.

It’s pretty much how life works. Isn’t? I make friends and then lose them and make better new friends. Some try to dominate me and others are dominated by me. Me? I know I am weird. Pretty much! But who doesn’t wants to be different? Atleast I do!

Truly speaking I have never gotten upset about people coming and going out of my life. It’s not that I don’t consider my friends important or don’t respect them. I am very faithful towards them and can put my life at any stake for them. But it’s just that I have gotten so much used to going and coming out of new people. Infact who doesn’t want to make new friends?

Those who know me know I am a prick, a douchebag and a nerd. I know making friends is important, very important. Yet I never try making new friends. It’s just that I like talking to people I feel like or the one of my type. I don’t make a “Hii, Hello” relation with any senior just for the purpose of getting any help in future. Everyone knows that all seniors, who are my friends, are because of the bond that we share and not because of any fake greetings we exchange.

When I meet people for the first time, I don’t understand why they take my sarcastic comments personally and get angry. Anyways it didn’t even bother me. But it did to them. I hate doing friendship with such geeks.  And you can clearly see my lips muttering “FUCK YOU”. I want people to take my joke just as a …………. JOKE. Nothing more and nothing less!

I don’t think that I need to sacrifice my true identity just to be friends with you. Do I? I think that as a friend you should accept me, my good as well as bad qualities. If you decide to exit my life then it really is no skin off my back. I'm not changing for anyone. I was told by someone a few days back that I am "not the guy I used to be." Well, obviously you didn't know me well in the first place. Then again, you all are not the people I thought I knew either so I'd say we're even.

PS: I love kids. They are so innocent, cute and honest. Needless to say naughty!

PS: Song of the day “ Jaane kyu log pyaar karte hai”. Awesome song. Really !

PS: I have feelings too, you know!