FOR SOMEONE SPECIAL

dedicated to someone special..... SSS..... by... SSS...  :)

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FROM HER MIND

THE UNSPOKEN CONVERSATION

Me: god, god... i never believed in you, yet you showed yourself. Tell me why life is so hard sometimes??

God: ohh.. so you realised it now... hmmm..!! at some point in their life everyone is going to realise this dude..life is as it is.. life is not hard, but it is you who make it hard. You will get used to it and then it will no longer appear hard to u... hey.. what happened.. why are you so perplexed today. Today i think you had your last exam of 3^rd sem finals. You should be happy... you are now free of your exams. Now you are supposed to have fun.. so stop blogging and go out. And you must be happy as you are going home.

Me: yeah..?? I don’t wanna go anywhere. I just wanted to go to hell and pay for all my sins. My head is too heavy with burden of all these and thinking about it make me cry. Ahh.. sins?? I don’t even know what i have done wrong. Why i an feeling so guilty and what for?? Why i am feeling that i am not living, just pretending to live?? Why i have no reasons to live and no easy way to die so young?? Why i am feeling that my body and my soul are different things?? I want to live the life of my soul through this visible part called body. I think i am just a little tired. I haven’t slept well for a couple of weeks. May be i need sleep. Yeah??

God: Hey...!! why don’t you directly tell me what’s going in your mind??

Me: i don’t know. There are millions of contradictory things lirking inside my mind, moving like turbulent flow of river turning around at every sharp corner. Thinking more about it makes me 13.6 times more depressed. My faith in you has lost a long time ago when it has reached a maximum permissible limit. The cracks in my emotions caused by so many incidents are making my building of love to crumbled under its own weight. You think that it’s difficult to be god?? Let me tell you that it is more difficult to live in a crazy fucking world of yours. fuck you. FUCK you. FUCK YOU.

God: [:O]

Me: i am feeling sleepy now. I am going. BYE.

God: hey, hey wait. U dere??

         .

         .

Me: fuck off. You don’t even exist......   and neither me..!!!

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LOVE IS MY FAVORITE MISTAKE

How do you keep a heart from breaking?
What can you really do?
How can I possibly stop myself
from falling in love with you?

I don't want to cut all ties
that would make the pain so much worse
why does this thing called love
feel like the worlds greatest curse?

 

It hurts me more than words can say
but I can't get enough
I think I'm more than a little addicted
and I guess that's just too tough.

 

I'm trying a little too hard
just to get along and get by
and I'm crying a little too much
while ending everything with a sigh.

because constantly thinking of you
makes me all the more depressed
because of all of the love that I hold
for you must be suppressed.

and I'm ready to give up and quit
but I think that I will take
my chances with this thing called love
my favorite mistake.

Hope i don't repeat this mistake again - sahiliiti@n

FLUCTUATING DREAMS

A year and a half has passed since I have cleared the most reputated exam of India. Now after seeing much, though not complete of this world things have changed a lot and that change is not automatic and not something that I am loving. I am used to it or in better words addicted to these like the bad habits. Or are these really bad habits?? Things were different when I was in my home with my family. I can’t even say that not being with my family has changed me a lot as I didn’t even change slightly in a complete year away from them in kota where I had worst time of my life. There in Kota was only one lifeline, my dreams about clearing jee which kept me unchanged since so long. I never even wondered about my unchanged nature, physically, socially and mentally before but nowadays I am astonished or rather say puzzled about my unbelievable “no change” there and I am founding it impossible somehow. Maybe it is because nowadays things are very different, scary and easy “to change” or because I have changed in the worst possible way.

I know it is very hard for you to think about a single thing I am talking about. But I am restrained. Restrained to write everything here, especially personal and so I can’t go straight. My dreams till 2008 were special and I always had true optimistic feelings towards them and always had proved myself. Maybe things were easy then. Standing among the best brains of India isn’t that easy and the best thing was my dreams never fluctuated. I never had second thought about my dreams.

But now, when I look at my condition, I found myself pathetic and alone. Now I am afraid of dreaming. I never wanted to be like this but still I am loving it. I am loving this change except something within me that is surprised by this change and that something is not only something to me. It has become everything. Confused?? Me too and that’s mah problem. Now i have multiple contradictory dreams which can’t be fulfilled hitherto m given many lives in my single human life. Whenever my solid mechanics proff taught me structural engineer or take building construction proff, teaching me estimation showing different different models with great enthusiasm, I dreamt myself in some big city of US as a head of some big building project. I felt so proud of becoming a civil engineer in future and that too from IITR. But the moment any programming book caught my sight, it makes me recall my dream of becoming a great programmer and hacker, working in Microsoft or Google. I have a strong desire to clear cat and study in IIMs. But at the same time I can’t even deny my dream to have my MS degree from some reputed foreign university after scoring high in GRE. But this is not the limit of my thoughts. I even sometimes think of going for IAS examination. Infact that is the most respectful field that an IITian can go for. In my every dream I find myself still every dream has a flaw and this stops me every time I think of it and the only flaw in any dream is other dream being superior that it only in some way. I wanna grab all. I wanna do the impossible. Truly I have changed a lot. I can’t even fix my dream. Then how they can possibly be true ever. Or maybe I am finding a reason not to choose any as I am fed up of my dreams or maybe I have started doubting on myself. And sometime I do feel that this is true. Why I have started feeling so weak and alone here? All I am becoming is someone which I never wanted to be, someone I never dreamt of. Life in 3^rd semester has brought in me the drastic changes I never expected of. Why life always play such cheap games with me?? All I can do now is pray to god to give me the power of facing these challenges in my life, no matter how difficult these challenges are to me, I must be strong enough to walk on this path, whatever comes in my way, I must be confident of my principles and must not let my morale down.

TREKKING @ VALLEY OF FLOWERS

On 27 September at 3 am I left my hostel for the trekking. I was a part of the trek of 9 students to the valley of flowers, considered as one of the place which you called heaven on earth. We all were very excited, especially the first yearite who was going on such a trek for the first time. Our group was total of 9, three 3^rd yearites, five 2^nd yearites and one facchha.

27 September- the made journey

Well it was the day we spent our day in bus. Starting from the roorkee at 3:30 am, we reached rishikesh in 1.5 hr and then from there, we caught the bus to govind ghat and that was a long journey of about 12 hrs. In the first couple of hrs I was sleeping in the bus when I was awakened by the seniors for some breakfast and then only I saw that we have entered the green lash area of uttarakhand. After having my breakfast the real thing begins which you may called my natural romance. After that my journey was completely submerged in nature, amidst the beautiful hills, the narrow uneven wet roads which at some places allow only one vehicle at a time and in the danger of falling of bus at any moment. Afterall journey in such areas is risky and it could only be made in day and all passes are called off after 4 p.m. Many a times our bus jumped on hard rocky roads, sometimes passes through some water fill areas and sometimes tilted to the extent that I actually screamed for help and then the next moment laughing at my own move.

As we were going up and up, it was like moving towards the sky. At one point I saw the clouds very near to me and the very next moment I find myself among the clouds, completely surrounded by mist and fog and yet still I could see clouds above me. I was like completely absorbed by the darkest of clouds and yet screaming for more like a 2 yr old child who can never be satisfied by toys. I could even find myself completely melt in the warm arms of mother nature, hugging me by its soft soft hands and kissing softly on my forehead. It was like no desire left to return to that fake world I belonged to. I just wanted to hide myself here forever. No pains, no agonies and no apologies. It was just “you and me” thing. Muuuahhhhzzz..!!!

Our journey ended at about 5 p.m after a great time in the arms of nature and yet in it. If you are not familiar let me tell you that there, in govind ghat is a famous gurudwara. We decided to stay there for a night in a room. We went inside the gurudwara, where aarti took place and took god’s blessing though I hardly believe in god. But I was feeling taking blessing from the mother nature and the kind people I have ever seen in that gurudwara. We ate our dinner in the “langar” in gurudwara itself. Due to tiredness I actually slept at 8 only as the next day we have to leave for trekking at 4 a.m.

28 September-the toughest day of trek

Now it was happening. We left gurudwara at 4:30 in the morning. It was going to be 13 km trek to gaangria. None of us bathe as the temp there was less than 0 and the water could actually freeze us out of our assess. Early at that time it was dark and only one of us had torch. So one torch and nine climbers (as I wanted to call all of us... rest our bags and state will tell you). I took the path recklessly in the starting but within first 15 minutes the torn up part had come and I realised after strucked by up-down path itself in the dark that I have to take it seriously. After one hour it was dawn which made our path less difficult. We all were moving enjoying the beauty of nature stopping at some points, taking some energy sources we brought like biscuits, chocolates and glucon-D. At such places you will find some unusual silence. Wind was the most noisy thing there followed by the sound of water, full of energy, splashing and thrilling itself against the hard rocks tearing apart the toughest of rocks and making its way. It seemed like teaching something to me, inspiring and motivating me. The path was very uneasy for us, at some places slope tending to 45 degrees and the path was never like a road. It was completely uneven and rocky as if walking on the rocks. We ate nothing except some snacks till 10 km. There we found a kind of open restaurant. Actually I found it like beach though there was no sand there. But there was a platform kinda thing above the flowing water. I must say damn sexy..!!! :P We had our lunch there which was more of a kind of supper and none of us could digest it to our stomach. The last three kms were the hardest I had ever travelled in my life. Those were like moving in some construction area or some broken stairways of stone or wat else. We were not even able to put our palms straight there and to travel those 3 kms it actually took us 2 hrs. Atlast we reached gaangria at about 2 pm and booked a room in some hotel. Then seniors suddenly changed their mind and told us that we have time so we should also go to hemkund which is 6 kms more from here. So all of us placed our bags in the room and decided to go there. Lemme tell you that those 6 kms to hemkund was not a easy job. The actual height of it from here was 1 km. So you can estimate the slope of the track. Further, a sardarji told us that it’s quite late to go there as last entry there is around 3 and you cnt manage to reach there in a hour and after 4 its dangerous to travel those roads because of the stormy weather and wild bears and monkeys. But still we didn’t change our minds. But there was a clear difference in our speeds as a result of which we split into two groups one consisting of physically strong members (5) and other 4 physically weak (including me). So those 5 were climbing very fast and we were left behind moving or better say trying to move our legs. After travelling 1.5 kms two of us quit and decided to return from here only as they knew its impossible for them to travel that distance. I and other fellow still continued on our way. After travelling another half km we felt thirsty but we had only empty bottles with us and there was no shop on the way. That was the time when we realised its better for both of us to back off and we returned from there to our room. Till I reached my room it was 4 and after that what I remember was that I was awakened for dinner and then in the morning for moving. Rest of the time I was sleeping, everything morbid and I was unconscious.

29 September-the journey to valley of flowers

On 29 September we left our rooms at 6:30 in the morning for valley of flowers which is 3 kms from gaangria. It was less tough and more interesting journey, as I expected. At some places the road was as narrow as a man’s hand. At other place, there was no path, we actually had to jump some over the stones. Though the valley had no flowers because of the odd season but still it was appreciable. We roamed in the valley, travelled a distance of about 7 kms, saw many things including a grave of a women who died there when she was doing research on this valley. We sat near the water stream, appreciated the mountains and wat not. Then we moved back to gaangria where we had lunch. I had to repair my shoes so in the process me and pawan lost contact with other group members. Thinking that they had already left for govind ghat we continued and we actually found them in a dhaba on the way. After having our lunch there I and pawan continued the down journey of 13 kms. We stopped at many places, appreciated the beauty of nature, jumped out of the track to enjoy the company of waterfalls and water flowing in the streams. When we were 6 kms away from govind ghat we met a saint in the way. Actually me and pawan were talking about ego (actually we were talking about ego in girls :P) and on listening to that that saint interrupted us and then three of us had interactive conversation. We got the company..!! He told us that he is a doctor and he also works in Ramakrishna association. He was a medical student who later in his life chose this as his path. He told us about many things giving many examples and gave us lectures on life and death. It was a two way conversation, actually three way, three of us interrupting the other. Whenever he told us about god, I interrupted and asked whether it really exists and did Ramayana and Mahabharata actually happened?? Those 6 kms were the shortest and we had endless conversation, sometimes boring and sometimes enthuastic. When we split he gave his phone no. and email id too, though I never cared to contact. After reaching govind ghat we spend the night in the same gurudwara.

30 September- to badrinath

On 30^th September at 5 am we left and we were on our way to badrinath. One good thing about badrinath is that you don’t have to walk upto there. A bus or taxi will escort you exactly at the place you want. after one hour we were in the badrinath. We bathe there in hot water stream and visited the temple, had our lunch in a restaurant and enjoyed the place. We actually spent our most of the time standing idle looking at natural beauty. Then we left for mana village which is just 3 kms from badrinath and it took us hardly 10 mins to reach there through taxi. It was a damn admiring place. I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a bridge naturally made from fallen rock. Below it was a waterfall and sunrays falling on it producing a rainbow. We also visited temple in a cave and had tea in the last tea shop. In the evening we stayed in a room in badrinath itself. We had then best supper of the journey in a restaurant and we went to sleep in the evening itself. I was not feeling sleepy as it was my last night here and from the very next day I had to return to roorkee and I will be lost again in my life. I wake up and roamed in the streets for a hour, not caring for the cold. At about 10 pm I went to bed.

31 September- way back to roorkee

We left at about 5 in the morning and got in a bus to haridwar. We again met the same natural scenes on our way back but this time they were screaming and asking us to return here some day, someday when you fail to find yourself, someday when you want to know yourself or someday when you will be sick of your life. Maybe this place could give you what you want. The 12 hour bus journey was tiring. Atlast we reached haridwara and from there to roorkee in the evening at about 7. This was the end of the trip but not the end of the memories which will always float in my mind and will continue to be mine forever.

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~~I'L NEVER LET YOUR MEMORIES DIE~~

I never thought that I will ever write again

But I m continuously betrayed by this pain

I fly in the sky, when I feel u were mine

As if lost in your dreams after drinking a bottle of wine

But now each and every second spent with you reminds

That u are very loving, caring and kind

I miss the time you were with me

To my every problem, you were my key

I am trying hard to forget those days

Have tried hundred’s of ways

I wonder sometimes y everything has to change

What about your promises to me

But what about my feelings for u

Will they ever be gone with you?

I just want one thing which I hope you will give

In some dark corner of your heart, plz let me live

....it’s not that bad.. living in someone’s memory... and hoping she will remember you in some darkest moments of her life... at least I have hope.

   -->> self composed

IITR HOSPITAL SUCKS

I wake up at around 7 yesterday by some pain on my left side of body from stomach to back. I was feeling a little bit uncomfortable but neglecting it and carried my normal jobs. But at 8 it became unbearable. It seems that something inside my body wants to turn my back apart.. it becomes severe and than I decided to go to resi-warden and ask him to call the ambulance. He immediately called the insti hospital to send a ambulance but no sign of ambulance arrived till 15 minutes. Then I decided to visit hospital by myself and fortunately resi-warden asked a man here to usher me to the hospital.

“emergency case bhayiya” I speak with all the power I had.

“ gimme I-card or medical booklet” he replied

“ fuck the booklet... its emergency case(cant u see it??) I am having severe pain and u talking of booklet... I will show u all later.. now enrol me a doctor.. will u?? I said

“no no.. we cant enrol anyone unless you have any proof that you belongs to here.. sorry I cant do without any identification of urs..” and he asked me to talk to CMO in this regard.

“you are getting nuts man” I snapped. “go to hell... I will be fine myself.. don’t worry” and I paced back to my hostel and took a pain killer.

At this time the ambulance arrived (remember, I have called ambulance an hour before?). But I was so irritated by this hospital by now that I called off it and denied to go there. Later in the evening I was called by the chief warden and asked about the mess I created in the morning.

Later that evening I started feeling that pain again in my back to stomach... looked like some drastic force inside me was trying to crumble all my body. Before the pain could overtake me, I, with one of my friend went to the hospital. At that time hospital was closed so I told a attendant my problem and asked about the doctor. My almighty god!! He told me there’s no doctor at these times. He then nudged me that this pain can be due to some stone in the kidney. But he was not sure so he gave me a pain killer with a injection and asked me to come tomorrow morning to contact a doctor.

Next day...

I went to the hospi early in the morning. A doctor checked me and gave me some medicines and advised an x-ray of my left kidney.

“Sir, uumm... actually... stone is best detected in ultrasound.. so I think instead of x-ray ...”

He cut me in between “no..no... I am the doctor, not you.. so I would better know “

“ok.. ok..” I shrugged though I knw there’s no ultrasound machine here in this hospital and they had to refer me to an external hospital. And that’s the reason doctor didn’t advised me for ultrasound.

So I was done with my x-ray the next day and got the report the same evening. But the same doctor was not available then. So I was scheduled on Tuesday morning. Another lady doc read the x-ray and told me that there’s nothing in this. Everything seems fine.

So now my condition is that I still don’t know what exactly my problem is and am still advised to take those pills which that doctor gave me( just because he thought that I have stone without any proof)

Oh my fucking god...!! help me..!!

INTERVIEWING THE JUNIORS

A year seems as if it was yesterday.

It seems as if it was yesterday, when I was attending the introtalks about various sections of iitr and there was a eerie feeling about it’s toughest part, taking of interview by the seniors. A drain of fear ran across us, as if we are going to face some really iron-stud man, perhaps because many of us were facing interview for the first time and many of us were fed and grown up with its fear. Well I correctly remember how dirty I was feeling after every deadly encounter with a senior and how much lately I had repented that if I had not been nervous I could have done better...!!

Today is 7th and I just came after interviewing few juniors for some project. Well it was a complete wonderful experience, sitting at the seniors’ hot seat and taking interviews of the juniors. Fear and hesitation on their faces reminds me of my initial days in iitr.

Me: name??
He: (stammered).... told his name.
Me: Why you wanna do this project??
He: aaa.. uu....hhmmm... aise hi..!!
Me: what?? Do you have any idea of what this project is all about??
He: well... yaaa.... this is related to the development in villagers condition.. something like dat??
Me: so what you will do in this project??
He: hmm.. vo actually I didn’t knew anything about this project..
Me: ohk.ohk.. so tell me what will you do to help villagers??
He: hmm.. we will give them our old clothes, food etc.etc.
Me: what?? So you are thinking we are going in some beggar’s village just to give them something like this.. so you gonna feed them like the beggars.... you know what? That is a kind of village where 4-5 people are having computers.... they are not poor in all these necessary need... they just need education, and some guidance... so we are working to help by instructing them.
He: ok.... ok... I didn’t mean this.... hmmm....aaa.... yaaa.. o.ok...!!
Me: ok.. I am done... will inform you in case...

Next student??

He: good even....evening sir!
Me: yaa... Name??
He: (tells)
I again asked much similar questions to him... everytime he reply... replied in Haryanvi.... infct pure Haryanvi... like yu karenge.... kukar javenge... nu hove sai... blah.. blah..!!
Me: where you from??
He: bahadurgarh, hh...Haryana..!!
I winked the senior beside me.... and told him.. I knw he must be from Haryana... his language simply depicts..

Next student??
Many came and went.... left wid a sardarji.... who got a smiling innocent honest face.. his charm cheers me... lol..!!!
I asked him same fucking questions and I got some expected honest answers...(r u the one we needed??) Banda mast tha..!! he told us many things about himself and told us that he can speak Haryanvi and Punjabi beside hindi and English.

Next student??

STRUCKED IN THE MIDDLE OF PRACTICAL

It gives me immense pleasure to write this post, not because it is special or wat, but of course, it is the time which makes it a little bit special. Actually I had no intension of writing this, here, and at this hour of time. But I have nothing to do, and I am captured at a very strange and funny place in IITR, where I may not be able to escape before 6. It is 4:30 now and I have full hour and a half to pass sitting in front of a big dumbass large compu. Ohh. I forgot to tell where I am and what makes me to write this and what’s special the time is. Actually I am in middle of my auto-CAD practical in computer center. Well for those, who think that IITians undergo serious training during their pleasure time in IIT, it must be enough inkling that what we really do during class timings and during rest of the hours (though we hardly find them); you must have found my rest of the posts sufficient enough.

Well it is not that only I am captured by these so-called professors in the lab, all of my batch are here, not doing their job, of course. Most of them are busy in chatting, most probably in search of their life partners [: P]. It is not that we have no work to do in these labs, but we are given the work of a second class poor chap, learning ms-paint colouring the objects with brush and screaming with a joy as soon as he saw the multicolour objects, most of them dislocated. Can you believe we are given to make a design of a hut on ms-paint. In the starting I called professor to check the drawing on paint, but I think these Profs consider their job in making sit students for 2 hr practical rather than training them. He told me to improve the quality of drawing, which of course, I am not insane enough to do it. Of course none of us are interested in doing that.. and I think it’s right. I am done with checking my mails and my orkut account in initial half hour and so I decided blogging. Anyways it is the best time pass I have ever thought, next to chatting and reading novels, of course.

It is hardly 4:50 now but I think I am done because I have hardly anything to say except to make you feel the hard times I am spending in IITR, dissolved completely in useless pracs and classes and widout a grlfrnd, of course…!! But I can still hope for one…haha…!!

YOU SAID IT, SIR

One surely feel amazed at some junctures of his life by the game this Mr. Fate plays with us sometimes, not always full of pleasant surprises but sometimes it do bring some of the bitter most facts of life that someone, very well educated professor of IITR and among the senior most faculty here, calls your father a bastard. At such times you will surely felt bad(more for the professor than for you) but you will be overwhelmed by the strange feeling in your mind and heart and such strange thoughts will continue to haunt your mind till you survey through his mind and find out what the fuck made him said so. One other time, you respect some of the proffs. here very much and love them and their teachings, more about life than that related to subject but at the same time at some other place, you feel like killing a professor who lost his temper, and that too for the sake of his students, and continued scolding the students in a unitone(for a right cause.. I agree) and said some of the words which are too hard for a student to hear from his respected professor. You hear those words, firstly you will never believe that it actually originated from his mouth by his own lip movements and when you are confirmed that it’s none but him... yes the professor, to be more precise, IIT professor, has said this. For a moment you feel so much embraced and harassed in front of the whole batch, and then you realise that even he is sorry for his stupid act. You didn’t become angry with him, just a little bit surprise, a surprise which will be always with you throughout your life and the very first sight of that professor will always remind you of this thing.

Still you don’t feel like killing that professor... you develop a sense of dignity and honour for him... you don’t treat him as your enemy..... u don’t think him as just another common professor of IITR.... u think him the one who care for you and your future... you develop a sense of responsibility towards him.. he is the one who make you feel a real civil engineer. You suddenly become confused...!!!

But then, all of a sudden, you don’t wanna discuss it anymore. You feel like letting it be a suspense and let it remind of itself, whenever and wherever you encounter that professor in your life again. You want to be in a dilemma of confused-mind state forever rather than putting yourself to find out the reason of his saying.... you make yourself comfortable by giving reasoning that he is also a human being(no matter he is a professor in IIT)... a homosapiens... the kind of animal which is used to commit mistakes....!!!

A COMPLETELY NEW LESSON

Hey friends…!!

How are you all doing..??

Today wat I m gonna tell you is not any interesting experience of mine or any of my incidence(in which u will find me fucked up most of the times). But what I am gonna write about here is the wonderful words spoken by proff. Vipul Prakash sir. Well he is taking our lectures of solid mechanics.

Today after teaching something(I dnt remember what exactly.. [:P].. but must be something related to his subject, I guess) he completed started a different new topic. Well I would like to tell u in his language.

Scientists and engineers(technocrats) are completely two different terms. Scientists are only interested in the things which are not known to us yet. They are merely interested in the things which are known to the world. They never like the application part. They believe in becoming the first person to know something. On the other hand engineers are strong believers of learning application part which are still in use. They want to know how this stuff works no matter this thing was discovered in 90’s or before. Whatever is used nowadays is the object of keen interest to them. So in this manner these two kind are of completely different species.

What nowadays Indian and American government is supporting in colleges and universities is the shallow knowledge of every field than in-depth knowledge abt a single core.( if you are a engineer, ask yourself how many courses are there which are related to your core… merely 5-8 courses out of total of abt 40 courses.). In future where you will find the person who has in-depth knowledge of the core?? The bosses themselves are working as a clerk in their own companies, asking every other second person what is his job, what he is supposed to do now, and how should he do it. Searching Google and wikipedia for every answer, these are the things they are taking help of. But do u know who are their on the internet?? Do u knw who are the people with whom u r taking help of on these sites. They are none other than fucked up people like you who dnt have complete knowledge of anything. Government is talking of starting online lectures and tutorials for the easy resources. Infact all English developed countries had recently signed such a agreement. But are resources ever been a problem?? You want to read online tutorials and attend online classes. But have u ever tried to surf books through your library which are far easy and comfortable to find. If resources have ever be a problem, have u ever tried to purchase a book from the market and tried to go thru it. Have you ever tried to solve a tute of your own? But there’s no fault of yours in this. It’s the iit system, it’s what the government wants you all to learn and there is no wonder if in the future cheating in exams will be called mere sharing of information...lol..!! Who knows?? You have forgot to practice things, developing your hands, developing your brain. If all the work would be done by machines then you will just become like robots on the earth who does mere transfer of things and not applying their own brains and this time is not so far.

But no fault of your’s my friend. Nowadays there is so much difference in economy that no one allows a skilled person to stick to a job. Inflation in the economy in a night and you are out the next day. Happily working till yesterday and today when came to office, instead of coffee on your table found a pink slip telling you that you are fired..!! Then what can you do?? You will only run after jobs other than core and that’s all government is focusing nowadays in today’s education system. That’s all education is all about nowadays. Shallow knowledge of everything is better than in-depth knowledge of any one thing. There was a time when excellency in one field was required. But now you go for a core job interview and no one will ask you questions related to your field, as If you are given the degree then you must have known that. But who knows they don’t want those qualities in you. They want you as a person who can do become clerk at one time, manager at other time and who knows their driver at some times. And that’s all you will find today’s professionals doing different different jobs at different different times.

If all the people will became like this(which government wants all of us to become) then you will have the in-depth knowledge of the core?? Who will help the world solving basics problems?? Will wikipedia help us which is written by all of us?? Will in future Google be able to find our father’s name(so that we need not to remember that even...!!). If yes then no doubt we will become machines and computers, and machines and robots will rule us.

Solitude is the price for the greatness. The people who really wants to learn, who really wants to gain some knowledge works alone. Walk by the real professors(there are only few real professors.. Baaki sab farzi hai) house late in the night and early in the morning you will found them working alone in their office in a room. Yes, they work alone i.e in complete solitude. You should have habit of passing time in solitude(but this doesn’t mean in any way that you remain alone all the time). You spend 4-5 hours(I amazed on listening this much amount.. lol..!!.. becoz I hardly pass that much time in a week :P) on your studies daily. Work in solitude and then only you will learn to do things of your own. If you dnt have any work, or u wanna do something else like roaming with ur frnds.. Then fine… dnt do that work but sit idle for that much time and you will find your work. You will be forced to do and learn things and that (working in solitude) is the price you are giving to become great in future.

Suddenly ended the lecture… and he started teaching us about solid mechanics... again..!!

Ahh.. I know most of you are jumping from the first para to here leaving reading middle para’s becoz you must be in hurry to chat with your grlfrnds… or the other reason may be this thing doesn’t interest you. But what.. I remember proff. Vipul Prakash saying the things which are educative doesn’t interest public and which are publicly accepted can never be educative. So I doesn’t feel like hesitating publishing this.

Hope you liked it…!!

TIWARI JIIIII…..!!

First day of 2nd year

Date: 23 July, 2009

Time: 10:00 am

I took the keys of my room and when I entered into mah room…. found that there was no chair in the room. As I was in hurry of performing my registration formalities, ignored it. But in the evening I did informed the security guard about that. He told to write the complaint in the complaint register(which is almost full of uncorrected complaints through years). I did it. But in the evening I picked up a chair from nearby empty room as I was sure they are not gonna give me a chair(at least not in mah whole 2nd yr)

Fourth day of 2nd year

Date: 26 July, 2009

Time: 7:00 pm

I found out that my fan is running very slow(so slow that you can watch it three wings with your eyes..lolzz). Though I was sure there’s not gonna happen anything going to the guard or warden(or writing complaining in the register) but still went to inform the guard at the duty. I told him mah problem regarding fan and he told me to meet tiwari ji.. [:O]. Must be some great person(or rather say personality).. I thought… that’s why known as tiwari jiiii. I tried to search him and asked many people but no one gave me any trace of him. At last a man told me that “arre vo peeche k water coolers saaf kar raha hai.. wha dhoond lo… mil jayega”. What??

The person whom I was thinking a great personality is cleaning the water coolers(job of a sweeper.. lolzz). I hurried to the back but was not able to find him.

Fan continued to move slow day and night, becoming more slower day by day.

Ninth day of 2nd year

Date: 31 July, 2009

Time: 6:30 pm

Fan is still running slow. Frustrated again. This time seriously frustrated. “If that bastard tiwari(ji) is not gonna do anything today, I will go to the chief warden” I thought. And the hunt for tiwari continued. At last I asked the guard about the tiwari(ji) and he told me to look into the supervisor’s room. I went inside the room and in front of me was a good physique gentleman. “Must be tiwari ji, I thought” as his personality correctly matches with his so-called name tiwari jiiii. But the very next moment I thought how come this gentleman, sitting on a officer’s chair was given the work of cleaning water coolers. [:P] But the very moment he said me to go and meet tiwari jii. fuCk…!! So this is not tiwari jiiii. hooh..!! Tiwari jii not yet found. “Saala ye chutiya tiwari hai kon jo hamesha gaayab rahta hai.. Etna busy?? Vo bhi sweeper ka kaam karne me.. Lolzz.. [:P]” I thought. I went outside and read the board above the room which read “supervisor”. Oh so this gentleman was supervisor(whom I mistaken as the person who does sweeper’s work :P).

Seventeenth day of 2nd year

Date: 8 august, 2009

Time: 6:00 pm

Well till now have figured tiwari(and not tiwari jii). I dnt knw when exactly I have known him but I do remember when I first looked at him what I taught was “ ahh.. To ye hai tiwari jiiii.. bhosadi ka 4 futia… hoon…!!” and I had actually spoken these words out of my mouth. Well he is exactly like what work he is supposed to do here ( hey..!! I think I had spoken much than what I am supposed to do. By no means I want to say that sweeper’s job is too small or worthless.. every work is important in its own way.. and no one becomes small by doing that job). Well I got a electrician to speed up my fan now. Around 6 in the evening he changed the condenser( actually he was saying there’s no condenser now, so will change later on but somehow tiwari(ji) was able to give me one(nice person.. must say [J]). So I got mah fan repaired but at that time power was not there… so couldn’t checked it.

After 1 hour:

Power had came and I tried to switch on my fan. Holy fuck..!! It has stopped working [:x] it was 7 and all the electricians are out. So I am fucked badly(like always.. Ab to aadat si ho gayi hai..!!) so I had no choice other than going to tiwari jii. So I contacted him and he asked me to call on a emergency no. So did I. they said they are coming within 15 minutes but they didn’t. I made another call after half an hour and same response came this time too. Well full of tears(actually it was sweat) I again went to tiwari jii. He said “okk.. Ek minute ruk, me call karta hu… dekhta hu saale kaise nahi aate…” He made his call and told me they are on their way and asked me to wait here. Another 15 minutes passed and still no sign of those people and I again yelled at tiwari jii. He said “ accha abhi balata hu unko” . “watt?? What the fuck was he doing till now. bulaya nahi abhi tak??” I thought. So then he made his final call and those man came in about another 10 minutes and so my fan was repaired.

Thanks to tiwari ji….!!!!!