The semester, I finally decided to study. I tried much
harder than before but still I don’t understand why I couldn’t score well in my
academics and my cgpa is always shy of 7 by few a decimal. Anyways I am keeping
my cgpa moaning for the beginning of my next semester.
In this semester I finally felt like I have grown up and
left my childhood far behind, only as memoirs. Finally, I became sure about what
to do and what not to do related to my career. I joined career launcher for my
mba preparations early this semester. I finally got ideas about internships and
the companies coming in for placements. Obviously when you are in your 3rd
year of college and you are supersenior you feel a little more grown up and
more responsible than your fellow juniors and you have more experience and
knowledge about everything starting from your core field to pragmatic skills. We,
all civil 3rd year students were taken to a surveying camp in
haridwar where I got the vibes of a real civil engineer. So, overall this
semester was very good and hence it should go into my book of life.
On friends
Finally, in this semester I got the friends whom I want
to hangout with and who are totally of my type, means who completely
matches my taste and can laugh at my jokes. So overall I stayed in a happy
friend circle with lot of hangout parties, bakar sessions and chapos! Unfortunately
I screwed up with two of my good friends in this semester.
On romance and relationship
Well this was the only semester when I stayed completely
single throughout it. I received proposals and I sent proposals. I rejected
them and mine was rejected too. Either way, I was staying single. Yeah! And I felt
independent, free and happy. I tried to hit on one of my friends. I even had a
meltdown for her and have tried everything I could. Unfortunately she wasn’t of
that type. Anyways there was a little flirting going on throughout the
semester.
On fun and masti
In this semester, I watched a lot of movies. And that means
A LOT OF MOVIES. I didn’t find any good season so I missed that. I had a lot of
fun in this semester with friends, and even with enemies. I laughed till my
stomach bursted and like I have never before. I had enormous hangouts and
chapos. I had had drinks in some parties. I had a lot fun at paniit. Everything
was so great in this semester. For the first time I lived a semester and so I love
this semester.
Often the world accuses me of being very immature towards my
feelings towards girls and my so called well wishers, though very rare in
number, laughs at me, throwing rebukes and sarcastic comments about my getting
senti for a girl from week after week, months after month and year after year.
Yesterday, after screwing all my exams, when I was quietly
lying in my bed after a supper, I happened to look upon all my relationships,
and came to the conclusion that setting aside all the daily crushes, weekly infatuations
and monthly false feelings of falling in love with “n” number of gals, I had
been in a relationship with 3 girls. Here is the summary of all my three
relationships and my honest and pragmatic views about them.
Just got into prestigious IITs, entered college for the first
time and being friendly with girls for the first time in my life, all these
things dissolved me in an unfair world of love. And that’s how and when it all
started.
The girl “a”
The first love, the ecstasy, lot of hopes and fantasies in
the air. Ahh!! Yeah, in the starting the
moment I talked to her I feel rejoiced and satisfied. Whole day I spent
thinking about her and the day passes with the blink of an eye with all the
sweet messages that we shared, even when our lectures were going on. I became
completely absorbed in her for quite a few days before the break up happened.
It has been a couple of years since the relationship has
fallen behind and lost somewhere in the book of my life. I was a jackass to
have proposed her knowing she was already committed, but she was more stupid to
have said a yes after she broke up with him. Well the relationship doesn’t last
long and I don’t know why but she broke up, and then suddenly everything
stopped and the kingdom of my love started falling. No chatting, no phone calls.
But there were many advantages of this relationship to me. She taught me the
initials of love. She taught me everything life a mom teaches to their new born
babies. She broke the virginity of my soul and emotions and since then
everything came out of my shyness.
We stopped talking after the break up but 14 months later we
again become friends, just on net. There are many interesting things about A,
which I wanna share with you all, but unfortunately can’t disclose here on my
post.
The girl “r”
Moving on after my first break up in my life wasn’t easy.
Though now I laugh at my relation with “a” knowing how stupid and childish it
was. That was the point when I found r to comfort my life with emotions. Yet it
was nothing but a compromise to me for recovering, only that I didn’t know this
at that time. This relationship has faded in my history pages just like my
feelings for her faded slowly with time and I realized that I couldn’t be in
this relation anymore. But I could only blame myself since I was the desperate
who started all the frontline and I was the stupid who decided to quit. I don’t
think about her much, but I just hope she’s fine.
The girl “S”
Till now neither of the two girls had given me the 100%
feeling of loving and being loved backed equally and that was the reason I lost
faith in this word and had fully decided never to enter again this kind of
shit. At that point S came into my life. Yes S means sweet. S means sober. S
means simple. S means social. And yes S means she…..
Initially we became very good friends and then numerous
daily phone calls and long hourly chatting with a lot of flirting. Slowly we
came so close to each other that we both knew that we are in love, though I
don’t remember when, how and why this friendship converted into love. But it
was a different feeling from my past 2 relations, for sure. I had carved and
enjoyed each and every moment of life of our future with her. I laughed with
her and I cried with her. The extent to which she cared for me is impossible to
describe in words. We have shared each and every moment of our life. With her I
felt so complete and associated with her are some of the finest memories of my
life which can never be faded. The love grew so intense that we couldn’t be
away from each other for long. Our love converted into possessiveness which
eventually became the reason of our breakup. The break up was very hard from
both the sides and it took me ages to move on. The mysterious break raised a
thousand questions as what actually happened. The experience was a lot tragic
but there are its positive impacts too. She taught me the real meaning of love
and how to love a girl with full passion and give her my 100%. She completely
transformed me and changed my life and my perspectives towards love. Not often,
but I still recollect the infinite good memories associated with her which
leaves a smile on my face.
Well, truly speaking, till date she’s the only girl in my
life whom I loved truly and sincerely. I was really serious and crazy about
her. Till today, I have never found a girl like S who can love me more than
herself. If given a chance, I would love to have S back, given she’s same as
she was.
Still today, I try to figure out often, thinking on the
consequences and repercussions, the course of life that followed me after a, r
and S.
